How to Write a Novel

I came across this rather terrific list of guidelines for how to write a novel. It includes such great pieces of advice as:

• Alcohol is a writer's best friend. It provides inspiration and confidence, it allows your fingers to fly fluidly across the keyboard; it cheers you up when you're down. It worked for Edgar Allen Poe, it worked for Stephen King and I just bet it will work for you.


• Indeed, distraction is what life is all about. If you use a computer for writing your book then make sure you've got a good internet connection, and stay permanently connected. The internet is an invaluable research tool and every time you surf you will find hours of non-stop inspiration.


• No one likes it when bad things happen. Only write about the happy stuff.